Grandma and Loving Her Daughter

In 1938, as Grandma told me more than once, she had a "nervous breakdown." I often wondered why she told me this story more than once as I grew up. That was ok, though. I didn't mind hearing it. I believe now she knew it needed to be passed on.

At the time, her daughter was 3 years old, her husband was leaving her and coming back frequently, and she got to a point, she said, that she couldn't handle any of it well. She was embarrassed, had no confidence left, and was giving up on herself. She had a "nervous breakdown." The website http://www.mayoclinic.com/ says "The term 'nervous breakdown' is sometimes used to describe a stressful situation in which someone becomes temporarily unable to function normally in day-to-day life. " The website goes on to say that it's not a clinical term and it may be related to depression or when stress is too overwhelming. That seems to fit what she'd described to me.

She said she got to a point where her mother, siblings, aunts, and uncles were worried about her mind. They pooled their money together for her to receive help in a reputable institution. She told me she didn't care about anything or anyone and only felt sorry for herself. She wasn't able to live day to day.

After a couple of weeks of therapy and family visiting her often to show support, she said she was standing at her room window one day after a family visit, overlooking the parking lot. Her sister was in the lot with Grandma's beautiful blond-haired little girl. Her little girl was laughing, playing and running around, looking as though she had not a care in the world, and not even knowing why she was there.

Grandma said that it was right then, looking at her daughter, she'd decided, "I'm going to get better. I want to get better because I want to raise my daughter no matter what happens." It hit her all at once, she said, what it meant to her to be her little girl's mother, no matter what the future held. That was the turning point for her, she said. From that moment on, she did get better emotionally and apparently never looked back.

Perhaps she had some outstanding counseling that she didn't describe to me. I never thought to ask those questions. Perhaps she found inner strength and self-worth she didn't know she had. And now as a mother myself, I think perhaps she also was passing on to the next generation that when you love your children, you find a resolve and a strength  in you that you don't even know exists until it's challenged. You don't give up. When focusing on that love, you can move forward through anything difficult. And she did.