Grandma's daughter and her only child could not have been more different than chocolate and vanilla, night and day, soft and hard, ice and water, up and down. Grandma was a dreamer and a believer in all the fantasies and fun that life can bring. Her daughter thought she was dramatic and took the practical approach to all she did.
Grandma always felt that people just shouldn't have to die, so much that she kept a journal of so many born and died, famous, and infamous, the date and year. Her daughter didn't understand why she didn't accept the circle of life and realize that death was normal. Grandma kept letters and cards from people she loved; her daughter didn't see the need to keep the clutter. Grandma missed all who came before her; her daughter felt that it wasn't how she wanted to spend her time.
Grandma primped, colored her hair until the day she died, loved makeup and style; her daughter was naturally beautiful but wore only red lipstick, colored her hair briefly, and while always clean and neat, clothes and style were not her thing.
Grandma believed in a bit of manipulation of the opposite sex; her daughter was always straightforward with everything on the table.
And yet, when I was a little girl and through my teen years, I saw them talk nearly everyday, talk about the grandchildren, talk about marriage, fight about lots of stuff, grocery shop every week together religiously, plan holidays for us, and always, always find their common ground. And that common ground was love for each other, linked to surviving tough years when it was just the two of them and Nana, surviving the depression, WWII, and then onto better times. Their mother/daughter bond was challenging as each sought to not be the other and yet they sought each other out constantly. It seems that we all seek to improve upon the last generation yet defend our own generation--therein lies our conflict.
If you are as lucky as I am, one day you may realize that if you can do it all as well as your Mom, with a few lucky improvements along the way, then you'll have done well. I have three mother/daughter relationships in my house, each one a treasure, each one a contest. And each relationship with such promise and each so much fun. Happy Mother's Day to My Mom and all Moms (and to me, too).
