Grandma and the Deal with Her Stepson

Grandma lived in a blended family even before anyone really knew what one was. She brought her 12-year-old daughter to her second marriage; her husband brought his two sons. One of those sons was a little boy and so glad to have a mom. The other was 14 and was not so happy.

You see, the 14-year-old was 9 when his mom died of heart failure right in front of him while she was hanging her laundry on the outside line. And from all accounts, she was a treasure of a mom, who adored her little boy, and their relationship was very special. Her other son, her baby, was only 5 months old at the time of her death. So the 14-year-old had a lot of feelings to deal with now that his dad had remarried--even if he liked her just fine. And let's face it, being 14 can be a turbulent time for anyone, even without these extra challenges. Add to it that his Dad came home married, without telling him. His new stepsister had been at this little private ceremony; he'd been denied it, he felt.

Grandma said that she knew it wasn't going to be easy. She told me she knew stepmothers had the famous reputation of being mean and terrible. So she gave a lot of thought to how to handle this new situation for all the children. Finally, the opportunity presented itself. After lots of surly behavior and tense moments, the 14-year-old showed his anger and shouted at her, "Don't bother me. You are NOT my mother and I'm not going to call you Mom." Grandma thought this was the perfect opening. She responded with something like, "I know I'm not your mother. I can't be your mother. And it's so terrible that she passed away. But I can be your father's wife that you can get a long with. Let's make a deal." She said she knew she had his attention.

"You don't call me stepmother. Call me Helen. And you won't see me trying to be your mother but maybe we can be friends somehow." My grandmother said their relationship was fine from then on.

And this 14-year-old, now an older man of 77, will tell you the same story in nearly the same words and has said how thankful he was to have Helen come into his life--just when he needed her most.